What are Seniors Worth?

Remember, old folk are worth a fortune with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet and gas in their stomachs.

I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life - frankly I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing six gentleman every day.

As soon as I wake up, WILL POWER helps me out of bed, then I go to see JOHNNY LOO. Next CHARLIE CRAMP comes along and when he's here he takes up a lot of my attention. When he leaves ARTHUR RITIS shows up and stays around all day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with JOHNNY WALKER.

What a life! Oh yes!, I'm also fighting with AL ZYMER.

PS the minister came to call the other day. He said I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him "Oh I do! All the time. On my way home, in the parlour, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I say to myself "Now what am t hereafter?"

These articles first appeared in the Ramsden Bellhouse Village Magazine - Summer 2006 Edition.